sábado, 12 de dezembro de 2009

O Caso da Aparência das Mulheres de Opinião

Sabe aquele jogo que você não tem como sair vencedora? Pois é, um desses jogos é o "Jogo da Aparência das Mulheres de Opinião".

Quando um homem emite seu entendimento, ninguém se preocupa com a cara ou o corpo dele. Quando é uma mulher, peraí: vamos analisar o visual dela primeiro. Rápidos exemplos práticos: se ela se preocupa com a aparência e faz uma plástica, como a Marta Suplicy ou a Dilma, ela é fútil e superficial; se ela não liga, como a Marina Silva ou... alguém mais?, ela é desleixada e pouco feminina. Estão vendo? A gente não tem como ganhar!

Quando a mulher em questão está falando sobre a aparência das mulheres em geral, a briga esquenta mais ainda. É por isso que eu não queria colocar a minha foto aqui, pelo menos por enquanto, porque a minha briga atual são as exigências da sociedade em relação à beleza feminina. Ponho foto, e vai ter gente dizendo, conforme o gosto do freguês, "ela é feia, então ela é contra o embelezamento porque não adianta pra ela" ou "ela é bonita, então ela é contra o embelezamento porque não precisa dele". (O subtexto, claro, sendo que o que nós mulheres buscamos é sacanear umas às outras.) Ou seja: qualquer que seja minha aparência, ela vai desautorizar minha fala. Então no momento vocês não vão conhecer minha carinha.

Aproveitando o tema e alguns comentários, eu não acho que exista exatamente uma oposição "vaidade" X "feminismo". A escritora de "O Mito da Beleza", Naomi Wolf, um livro feminista fantástico, por exemplo, é linda e arrumada. O que acontece é que eu ando muito desconfiada da vaidade feminina (e não das mulheres que são vaidosas). Ando achando que a vaidade que a sociedade nos prega, e que tem tudo a ver com consumismo, é um presente de grego. Eu percebo que o mundo recompensa as mulheres vaidosas, mas ando remoendo se a recompensa não é mesquinha. Eu acho a maior parte dos tratamentos de beleza deliciosos, sou uma expert em maquiagem e sempre andei na moda, mas algo anda me dizendo que estive usando meus poderes para o (meu próprio) mal.

Eu até gostaria de ser convencida do contrário. Tenho um monte de pincéis da MAC que eu quase não usei.

53 comentários:

  1. é mais ou menos como se vc tivesse que ser bonita para poder falar mal da beleza. porque se vc for feia, claro que é porque é uma despeitada! humpf! =)

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  2. Oi, Lud.
    Concordo com suas palavras. E mais, infelizmente, eu ainda vejo essa oposição "vaidade x feminismo" dentro dos movimentos feministas. Sou feminista, com orgulho e desconfio dos muito radicais. Desconfio porque o(s) feminismo(s) nos libertaram dos padrões, ou seja, nos deu liberdade para usarmos ou não aquilo que quisermos. Logo, se eu desejo sair à rua com um batom mega vermelho, eu saio e não serei menos feminista por isso. Feminismo é liberdade! Liberdade de ser, de ter, o que se quiser, sem se importar com a obrigação das coisas. Mas...é complicada essa questão, dentro e fora dos feminismos. Agora,s em dúvida que a sociedade (de um modo geral) vê a(s) feminista(s) como homossexuais, sem um pingo de vaidade...

    mais duas coisas (desculpe, eu me empolgo):
    1- uma de minhas divas feministas sempre foi linda e, inclusive, se tranformou numa "coelhinha da playboy" para divulgar as torturas que elas eram submetidas (a maravilhosa Gloria Steiner);

    2- Outra diva, a Joan Scott disse numa entrevista que adorava ver o tanto de feministas vaidosas que existiam, porque elas quebravam aquele paradigma horrível que inventaram que feminista é mal-amada, feia, etc.

    Bjo e me desculpe o tamanho!!!!

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  3. Lud:

    me desculpe! Estava escrevendo na pressa e cometi vários erros gramaticais...mil desculpas.

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  4. Eu só sei que eu estou ensaidinha pra dizer, ao menor comentário que algum homem emitiu alguma opinião: "sei não, mas ele é tão feio..." ;) Vamos ver a resposta... O maridinho aqui não entendeu a ironia, e retorquiu que o indigitado era até considerado simpático e charmoso - e justo pelas mulheres, essas pestes.

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  5. Nossa, adorei seu blog. Muito bom mesmo. Acho eu exercício de questionar toda a prática da "vaidade". Tomo a liberdade de indicar um post do meu blog mais ou menos sobre isso: http://foifeitopraisso.blogspot.com/2009/10/dia-de-amar-seu-corpo.html

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  6. Pois é, Bela: se você for feia, é uma despeitada; se você for bonita, já tem o "poder" e não quer que as outras tenham!

    Fer, a questão é complicada mesmo. Merece um post gigante e não-conclusivo (porque acho que algumas questões nunca terão respostas definitivas). Mas é aquela coisa: porque os epítetos de feia e mal-amada deveriam nos ofender? Sério, chama o Lula ou o Obama de feios e mal-amados e vê se eles ligam a mínima. Outra coisa: tudo é contexto. Se o mundo espera que as feministas sejam mal-arrumadas, talvez uma feminista ajeitadinha seja trangressor? Mas aí, de novo: é trangressor jogar conforme as regras do sistema com o qual a gente não concorda?
    Sim, já teve gente que me chamou de radical por eu ter parado de usar maquiagem. E eu respondi que achava que tinha horas que não dava mais para contemporizar. Que tinha que chutar o balde mesmo. Só que aí sou eu, né? Longe de mim desautorizar as feministas que usam. Já li o artigo da Gloria Steinen no qual ela conta suas aventuras de coelhinha da Playboy e adorei.

    Daninha, imagino que você tenha usado o "pestes" de maneira carinhosa, mas não pense nas mulheres assim, não. A idéia é a gente se unir!

    Iara, adorei o seu post. Já me ocorreu que uma maneira de tratar a anorexia fosse falar para a pessoa: ok, você está acima do peso mesmo, vambora fazer coisas legais? Mas o problema não é a pessoa achar que está gorda - o problema é o que a sociedade diz sobre as pessoas gordas. Odioso, isso.

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  7. Eu gosto de sapatos, roupas e maquiagem. Talvez eu goste porque me é permitido gostar sem levar porrada na rua e coros ofensivos que questionam minha vida sexual pregressa; o que também não é necessariamente positivo, isso de nós, mulheres, sermos instigadas a gostar dessas coisas. Porque não é bem opcional. Ou a gente gosta e é normal, ou a gente só faz que não gosta pra aparecer, porque vem com os cromossomos X (só quando estão em dupla, sozinho não vale, isso é coisa de bicha) a informação genética "gostarás de peruíces". Eu decido que gosto porque me foi apresentado, tive o direito de genuinamente gostar e calhou que gostei. E, das coisas que não gosto e me são impostas, abro mão mesmo: decidi que não vou ter filho, namorado e eu dividimos tarefas (por enquanto moramos com a minha mãe, que crê que nada do que a gente faz tá bem feito, mas se aprende) e tento não me deixar inibir porque sou mulher. Percebi que não uso uma roupa que acho bonita por causa dos outros - pelo número de olhares de estranheza, acho que eles também perceberam isso -, mas porque eu me sinto bem. É chato achar que a sociedade nos influencia mesmo quando tentamos largar mão dela, nos forçando a gostar ou deixar de gostar de algo; eu prefiro me obrigar a pensar, antes de sair, que não sou obrigada a nada. Tem funcionado. Acho. Eu tenho me sentido confortável; acho que, individualmente, é o que basta.

    Teu blog é muito bom.
    :*

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